Being able to defuse from values and rigid rules is often the rate limiting step to better mental health

One of the fundamental pattern I see in folks who are struggling with their mental health space is that they are unable to reconcile their inner values/rules with the outer world values/rules. Not knowing what their values/rules are is actually one of the key problems.

It’s like an Apple Operating System/unknown operating system trying to reconcile with an outer Microsoft/some other network, or vice versa. Not good or bad but just different.

This pattern may lead to adjustment challenges with stress, frustration, anxiety or depress mood, unless they can reconcile that somehow. In DSM, we may refer to this as Adjustment Disorder with Anxious or Depressed Mood.

Alternatively, learn to be like a “Zen Master” and detach from all “systems” and hold all values and rules very lightly.

The fundamental aim of counseling is to help our patients take on both strategies.

Defuse and reconcile with “defusion from values/rigid rules/identity” often being the rate limiting step.