Helping couples reconcile perspectives from the minds and hearts

When working with couples, it’s common to see that one person will be more “feeling focused”, while the other is more “logic/data focused”.

Of course this is a great complementary partnership, and at the same time, it can be a great source of conflict as well.

The more “feeling focused” person will pay more attention to the “feeling aspects” of the problem and decision making. Meanwhile, the more “logic or data focused” person will pay more attention to the “data aspects” of the problem and decision making. Think scientist, judge, or engineer.

Of course, different frameworks will lead us in different directions and hence, misunderstandings and conflict are inevitable.

The problem is, we think we have the same framework but we don’t. We think we speak the same language but we don’t.

We see the same pattern in families, groups, including FB groups, and politics.

Without better emotional literacy and awareness, we will probably continue to misunderstand each other and have ongoing conflicts.