In counseling, when people are expressing something in the line of losing sight of who they are, it’s a sign that they are focusing too much towards the “outer compass” i.e. excessive following the rules and feelings of others and people pleasing. This is normal of course, because we have been trained that way to some extent. It is how schools, many workplaces, and society operate. It helps with “collectiveness” and outer harmony.
Like most things, if balanced, it’s good and workable. If imbalanced, it may lead to a lot of inner tension and unhappiness.
So what is the solution?
We can help these folks to define and work on their “inner compass” to balance their “outer compass”. What’s their principles and values, and take committed actions towards that. Cultivate authenticity and living a life more true to who they are, in order to find that balance.
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